Dumb Blonde

I had a major dumb blonde moment today. 

It was pretty embarrassing. 

It was $1 subs day at Jimmy Johns and even though I can't eat bread or any processed meats, I kindly offered to get a sub for Myles. The deal only lasted until 3pm, so I had to race to the nearest JJs as soon as I left work for the day. 

The parking lot was packed when I got there. And, the drive thru line had about 8 cars in it.  I pulled in behind them. 

And then I sat there. 

And sat there.  

And sat there. 

People were coming and going out the front door, but the drive thru line wasn't moving AT ALL!  Where's my freaky fast service?  I was getting pretty irritated and finally backed out of the line.  

That's when I noticed that there weren't any people in the cars in the drive thru line. 

The drive thru was closed. 

And I sat there for nearly 5 minutes growing very impatient. So embarrassing!

So, by this time it was too late for me to get in the actual sandwich line since I had to pick up Myles from school. I drove off in blonde shame. 

To make matters worse, I had to take Myles to JJs after school because he was expecting that sandwich & was super hungry. Also, the deal was over and I had to pay full price. :(

Holy Moly...

I have finally joined the hoards that are following the show Breaking Bad.  I'm completely obsessed!  It is such a good show!  I only started watching it this past week, but I'm watching it nonstop (thank you Netflix).  A friend recommended it to me and I just started watching it on a whim (ok, on a day when I was procrastinating a writing assignment), but now I cannot stop.
The characters are great.  The story line is intense.  I started off thinking certain characters were totally annoying, but then after their back stories are told, I came around.  Each of the characters is incredible.
I've just started the third season today.  And, I just found out that the 5th season is what's on TV now.  I'm going to have to buy the entire 5th season this week.  I have to know what happens.
I don't think I've ever watched an entire series all the way through this quickly.
HEISENBERG!
And, I found this pic when I googled Breaking Bad.
Yet another toy that I need.

Mobile meth lab lego set.  It's going on the Christmas list.  :)

Kicking Ass!

So, I've been working out at the gym regularly now for several months. And, I've seen some pretty positive results. My trainer convinced me to sign up for this 90 day body transformation challenge at the gym. I just have to transform my body into a super lean fat burning muscle machine and I will be rewarded with $10,000 & a trip to Vegas.

Now, this kind of payout really turns me from a major gym whiner into a competitive lifter!  

I am in.  

I only signed up a week before the challenge started and was already markedly leaner than when I joined the gym in April. So, my strategy was to beef up before the initial weigh in. It was kind of the greatest week of my life!  I ate fast food regularly. And cookies, chips, Auntie Anne's pretzels.  It was glorious. It worked too. My body fat percentage went up a little. 

Now, I am completely paleo. Nearly 100% of the time. And, honestly, it was rough for a while. I had major hunger rages. And, I mean homicidal, "feed me right fucking now!", hunger rages. I wanted some cookies so bad!  And, it was really pissing me off. But, I made it through that phase and managed to refrain from murdering anyone. 

2 weeks into the challenge I checked the leaderboards. I was in the top spot for my local gym, but hadn't even broken into the top 100 nationally. (I'm still convinced there's some cheating going on there.  Some people lost 38% body fat in 2 weeks. I don't believe it.) 

But, I checked my stats today. I broke into the top 100!!!  I am #53!  

HOLY SHIT!  

This means that I only have to sabotage 52 people & I win!  That's only 52 deep dish pizzas & 52 Oreo cookie blizzards!  I know what the hunger rages have done to me so I'm sure that there are 52 other people out there living right on the edge. Maybe some anonymous cookie trays will be delivered to their homes for the next several weeks. Heh heh heh. 

Cookie deprivation brings out my evil side. 

On a cookie side note: 

If you are wanting cookies, but you are on a paleo diet, you can safely make these and you will not want any.

Cotton Candy Cookies. They sounded like something weird the kids might like. Turns out, they are not very delicious at all. They will however, make your entire house along with whatever clothing you are wearing, smell like cotton candy for the rest of the day. Yuck.

This is the remains of my alternative snack. It still wasn't satisfying. 

But, whatever.  I can eat whatever I want while I'm relaxing in Vegas!

Sideshow Shannon

So, I've been thinking about changing my look...

Hey Buddy!

I took Savannah & a friend to the gym yesterday to swim. At about lunch time we headed to the cafe for food and we passed by this guy who looked really familiar to me.

He looked a lot like Pauly Shore. 

So I immediately texted my sister. 

I quickly morphed into celebrity stalker mode. After some quick Internet searching, I learned that Pauly Shore actually was in town to perform at the Funny Bone Comedy Club that night. 

So, Holy Crap!  That really was Pauly Shore!

The girls and I headed back to the pool.  I figured Pauly (if we work out at the same gym, that puts us on a first name basis) had left. But no --Pauly Shore was in the hot tub. 

We made eye contact as I passed by & he smiled at me. 

I got the girls back to the pool & was fully ready to go over & talk to him, but he disappeared. 

In 3 seconds. 

He completely vanished. 

WTH?  

So that was the end of my momentary hobnobbing with a celeb. 

Darn. 

Hi Pauly!

Dead Legs

My legs are dead.  Seriously.  Funeral imminent. 

I

Cannot

Walk

My trainer is hot, but evil.  Very, very evil.
I had workout homework today, too.  50 minutes of cardio.
Tomorrow, I'm supposed to repeat the routine he had me do on Tuesday.  Might be difficult to maintain proper form while on crutches.

But, during my first real training session, I learned that I'm a bit of a whiner.  (Actually, this is not news to me.)  I got to do 2 different clusters of exercises and it turns out my legs must not have much muscle in them.  3 sets of 12 squats, 12 step-things (technical gym term), and lunges.  Then some variations of those in the other set, but that didn't really seem like that much leg work.  Today, my legs beg to differ. 

I think I must be exorcising my inner wimp.  And my inner wimp resides in my thighs and isn't going without a fight.

Pain & Agony

So I am going to meet with a personal trainer today. For an entire hour. I regularly walk on the treadmill for a whole 30 minutes before I die from boredom. So I'm a little worried about this hour long trek through the depths of hell. The good news is that my trainer is buff. He's young, hot, and muscle-y. This should spur me on. Unless I pass out from my wimpiness. But if I did pass out, I guess he would have to resuscitate me.
Ok, passing out doesn't sound so bad.
But, honestly, I am a little concerned about my stamina. I had to do a minute long push up test for him. Didn't sound to challenging until I hit the 30 second mark. Then it got really embarrassing. Also, my arms hurt for the next 3 days. Seriously.
I may have to be wheeled into work tomorrow. I'm a little worried. Thank god for sit down jobs.

Shitty Day

Today sucked. Weather sucked. People sucked. My attitude sucked. Everything sucked.
Tried to take an afternoon nap. Couldn't sleep. That sucked.
Then I found this Flickr : http://www.flickr.com/photos/pedestriantype
These apply to my mood today.

Retail Therapy

The only way to cope with a long week & rough weekend is to indulge in some retail therapy. Good news -- someone's going to be 12 in one week & all her presents are purchased! I predict that 12 is going to be a good year for her.

Near Death Experience

This morning I encountered a giant centipede in my bedroom.  It casually strolled across the floor like it owned the joint, while I was laying in bed texting.  I'm fairly certain it turned around, looked at me, gave me the finger with at least 3 of its hundred arms, and continued across the room.  I screamed and grabbed the nearest shoe.  Using some of my unfailing ninja skills, I leapt across the room, picked up a discarded top, and smashed the boa constrictor-sized centipede.  It lay there twitching and I'm pretty sure I heard it cussing me.  So, I smashed it again. 
Sunday's off to a great start!

Saturday

I just spent the first 2 hours of the day watching Seinfeld bloopers on YouTube. The day's off to a great start!

Calvin and Hobbes Photographs

I found this today...

I found it here.  There are a bunch of them all created by Michael S. Den Beste with Photoshop.  I love them.  I have read every single Calvin and Hobbes comic.  And I much prefer seeing Calvin like this than seeing him on the back of nearly every big pickup truck peeing on the brand of another pickup truck.  (Hasn't that gotten old yet?)

Anyway, I love these. 
And now I have a new desktop wallpaper.
:)

January 11

Ok, perhaps daily posts aren't a great idea. I'm too boring for daily posts, so I'm going to shoot for really good weekly posts.  Only 6 days in and I'm already bored with myself.

So, I will be providing the BEST WORD OF THE WEEK rather than the word of the day.
Here it is:
alow: below (adv)
(It's the opposite of aloft)

Anyway,  this week has been my first full week back in the swing of things.  Holidays are over and now I get to look forward to spring and Valentine's day.  I don't do romantic mushy valentine's day crap, but I love all the pink hearts and decorations.  <3

I'm having a crochet race with my sister.  We are each making valentine's day inspired blankets.  Right now I'm winning, but not by much.  And, since it's a Valentine's Day Blanket, I figure I'll get it done some time around the 4th of July.  Here is the work in progress.

And, today I bought some new towels.  It's my most exciting purchase of the week.  They are so bright and cheerful.  We will all be fighting over who gets to soak in the tub now.  Ok, we fight over that anyways, but the winner will have a bright cheery towel to look forward too.

The wind is howling outside tonight.  I'm going to go finish my book, Jennifer Johnson is Sick of Being Single, and decide if the second book is worth a read.

Auf Wiedersehen!

January 6

It's the birthday of one of my favorite literary characters today.

Happy Birthday Sherlock.

January 5

Word of the day:  sepulchre - a place of burial: tomb; a receptacle for religious relics

I already knew today's word of the day.  So my vocabulary is no larger today.  Bummer.

I did take a trip to Target today.  Here's what I bought myself:

I finally bought the Mindy Kaling book.  I'm very excited about it!! I love the Mindy Project and have been wanting to read her book for a while.  She's so funny.  And I picked up a cute turquoise composition tablet.  Why?  I dunno.  I may write world changing thought and ideas in there.

I had to hold myself back from purchasing some sharpies that were on sale for $5.  I had them in the cart when Savannah reminded me that I ready have a large sharpie collection.
 

I'll be using those in my cool new composition notebook.  :)

January 4

It's Friday!
Word of the day: ekphrasis - a literary description of or commentary on a visual work of art

My super exciting weekend is going to consist of homework and reading. My pile of books to read is getting larger. Right now I'm reading this very funny book. Jennifer Johnson Is Sick Of Being Single. I highly recommend. I'll post a review once I've finished.

January 3 The day a dream was dashed...

Guten Tag!! 

Today's word:  Mien - air or bearing especially as expressive of attitude or personality:  demeanor.  appearance, aspect

Today is back to school day.  My classes started back up and I have to get back into my routine.  I need more time in the day because there are a lot of things that I want to do and there's never enough time to do it all.  I need a time-turnerer.  Immediately.

I was sitting at work today and perusing my emails.  An email came through telling me that the FBI has positions open in cyber security.  OMG.  That's my field.  And that's my dream job.  I immediately clicked on the email to learn more about the requirements.  Cyber Special Agent.  That's the job I want.  Then I could work at the FBI, meet Mulder, and life would be grand. 
Then, I read the job requirements.  You must be between the ages of 23 and 36.  I kid you not, that's the first thing listed.  I have no idea why this is a requirement, but I have apparently aged out of my dream job. 

This means that I will have to start working for the enemy. 
I am too old to be on American Idol and I'm too old for the FBI. 
Bummer.

January 2

Second blog post of the year!

Word of the day:  legerdemain:  sleight of hand, a display of skill and adroitness

Today's word has a tricky word in the definition. Adroitness?  You cannot define one strange word with another difficult and strange word.  Not helpful.

Anyway, today is the last day of the holiday break for Savannah.  So we have to get ourselves back into a routine starting tomorrow.  Ugh.  It's kind of nice having the kids out of school on these breaks because I can get myself ready in the mornings without having to worry about anyone else's progress. 

I stopped into a new grocery story that opened up by my work.  It's a Fareway.  I've never shopped in a Fareway grocery store before, and found it to be very nice.  I have a new favorite grocery store.  Is it dorky to have a favorite grocery store?  I don't care if it is.  I have one.  It's this new Fareway.  They have a fantastic meat counter and don't have any prepackaged meat.  Not any.  And the store isn't huge.  I have really come to hate all the super-sized grocery stores.  It takes forever to get through those stores.  I just haven't got the patience for it.  It makes me grumbly.  So, new year, new grocery store. 

I bought some delicious salted nut bars from their bakery.  So, the weight loss resolution is already out the window.  So is the no more pop drinking resolution.  I've drank nothing but pop today.  I had a headache, though, so I'll start weaning myself off of the pop tomorrow.  Stupid delicious addictive pop. 

I've been battling with Fillmore and his insistence on peeing on everything on the planet.  He's being forced to wear belly bands 24/7 lately.  I think the holidays have him stressed out and he's being particularly bad.  So, I have noticed that he will trot around in a wet belly band and I don't realize it until he jumps in my lap and I smell him.  It's not delightful.  And his favorite place to sleep ... is on my pillow.  The aroma that he leaves behind is not the best surprise at bedtime.  So, I've been trying to offer up different places for him to sleep.  It's not working.

Happy 2013!

First blog post of the year.  My goal?  To write a blog a day for the entire year.

I bought a word a day calendar.  So, allow me to broaden your vocabulary.

Today's word:  retrodict -- to utilize present information or ideas to infer or explain (as past event or state of affairs)

I am starting off the new year with some new specs.  I had seen some ads for Warby Parker eyeglasses and after checking out some reviews and their website, I ordered myself some frames for their at home try-on.  They will send you 5 eyeglass frames to try on at home for no charge.  The free part was just too good to pass up.  I had a hard time deciding which frame I liked best, but after much deliberation, I chose the Webb in crystal black.  I really liked some larger frames, but I was consistently being told that they were not my best option and the snickers that everyone was trying to suppress when I put them on forced me to chose another frame.  I went to Target to have my eyes tested.  I knew that I needed a stronger prescription because I'm squinting at my computer all the time.  And, I tried on some of their frames too, but the frames I liked were going to cost me almost $400 if I got the top of the line lenses.  Crap.  The Warby Parker glasses are only $95 and that's including lenses.  I looked into that as well and the top of the line lenses from Target are the same lenses that are included in my $95 Warby Parker glasses.  And, as an added bonus, Warby Parker donates a pair of glasses to someone in need for every pair purchased.
The glasses were shipped out to me 2nd day air, so I was able to receive them on New Year's eve.  I really really like them.  So here is the big reveal: